Overcome by Light

Recently my husband told me about an article he read about the biggest advancements in medical history over the last, say, century. One scientist being interviewed was asked what he thought the single most important advancement was in our overall health.  His answer?  Not immunizations. Not washing hands.
Windows.  Yes, windows.  Why?  Because light was able to kill off the germs that would otherwise continue to linger (and infect others) in the dark.

Isn't sin kind of like that?  We like to keep our secret pasts all tucked away in a dark corner, way up on a shelf.  And we think because we can't see it, it just kind of disappears.  But, lo and behold, one day it hops down from that dark shelf and reinfects your life. We feel the effects of this sin eating into every part of our life, just like a disease, wearing us down. It even makes us afraid. Hopeless.  Will this thing be the end of me? How will I ever get over this?

Glory to God, we live in a time where the Light of the World has come.  We need not live in this darkness anymore.  There is freedom in the Light! "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all...If we walk in the  light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." (1 John 1:5,7).  


Do you see it?  When we drag out our sins from those dark secret places, and expose them to the purifying Light of Christ, not only do we strip the sin of its power over us, but we are given a gift of freedom:  "They overcame [the accuser] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." (Revelation 12:11)  Speaking our life stories, or testimonies, at appropriate times and in an appropriate manner, is just like opening the windows, letting the sunshine in, and killing off all the germs.

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So, today, being a regular ol' Tuesday, I did not expect a soul upheaval by mid-day...But that's what I got at about 9:30 this morning.

Our school has a new component to its volunteer program which involves screening its members.  We were fingerprinted and then rounded up to watch a video series called "Safeguarding God's Children".  I had heard that it was about being on the look-out for child predators.  This is certainly a good thing to watch out for and keep our kids safe.  However, I was not prepared to have the scab ripped off my past hurts, with them rippling wildly just below the surface.

As I am watching this video with real child molesters telling how they did it, I felt my heart racing, my hands shaking.  One young lady shared her story of having been abused by her minister as girl. She remarked how people always think you'll "just get over it". But you don't. That it changes who you are.  I knew in that moment exactly what she meant. And I also knew keenly that perhaps this past of mine might never "go away". Grieving the innocence stripped from me at the tender age of 5 will probably never cease.

One of the statistics that surprised me was that of all abusers, over 60% are known by the child and family. So these people sexually abusing children aren't the "stranger-boogey man" we often imagine hurting our little ones.  Another surprising fact was that many times the perpetrators are not that much older than the victims.  Both of these facts are a reality in my case.  He was a family friend, a young teenager.

As I watched the video, it became clear to me that I, as a child, was not in the least equipped to handle or know how to respond to the abuse that I endured.  I did not know that it was wrong for him to touch me that way. That I should have (or could have) told someone. That it was not my fault.

My heart began pumping harder as I felt clearly that God wanted me to share this part of my past so as to underscore to the other parents that we must never let our guards down. Even in what appears to be "safe" company and settings, we must be ever vigilant to help prevent this kind of abuse. We must open lines of age-appropriate communication with our children (both sexes) so they understand what is and is not appropriate touching and what to do if they are touched or feel uncomfortable.

I raised my hand and heard myself say, "I have something I'd like to share..."  God answered my prayer to fill my mouth with the words and help me to hold it together while I spoke. The others seemed to appreciate what I shared.

After the meeting was over, I went back to my car and as I closed the door, the flood gates opened. I was overwhelmed with a rush of grief for all of those who have endured sexual abuse and have had to live with the aftermath. However, God showed me so much more in those moments.  He reminded me that He is my Justifier - "The God of Recompense" (Jehovah-Gmolah).  No one harms the apple of His eye without consequence.  Revenge is not mine to take. He also showed me that He is my Healer, Jehovah-Rapha, and has set me free from so much of the bondage this abuse created. Is still setting me free. He reminded me that one day, one GLORIOUS DAY, He will finish binding up my heart.  He will put a crown of beauty on my head instead of ashes, and wrap me in a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. My wholeness will be for the display of His splendor.  There will be no more scabs, no more "yuck" mulling around under the surface.  He will make all new and right. This He will do FOREVER.

It is my prayer that the power of my testimony, however humble, will help others to overcome.  That when the dark shadows of sin are dragged out into the Light, they are disarmed and defeated.  The Light of Truth always triumphs when we speak out our testimony.


Application:
+ Do you have any "germs on shelves" that need to be brought into the Light?  Sometimes they have been there so long you may have forgotten about them. Pray for God to reveal anything hidden in your life that keeps you in bondage so that you may experience His freedom and healing.

+ Consider writing out your life story, capturing any pivotal moments that define who you are today. Pray that God will show you how you can use your story for His glory.

The Word:
+ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me," even darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  Psalm 139:11-12

+ Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story, those he redeemed from the hand of the foe.  Psalm 107:2