Small Bites

I am discovering just how much our culture has its claws in me. In our fast-food, over-sized portion, eat-on-the-way world, it is no wonder that I expect my spiritual growth to work in the same way. If I would only consume larger portions of Biblical and theological writings, if I could toss up more prayers throughout the day, and if I would serve more, then my heart would be right. The fruit of the Spirit would be conspicuous in me. Right?

Today God reminded me that is not the case in His economy. More (or faster) is not better in God's eyes: "Better is one handful of tranquility [less] than two handfuls of toil and chasing the wind [more]." Ecclesiastes 4:6.

Instead, God is teaching me to take small bites. Chew slowly. Taste the flavor.  Swallow. Digest. Just like I tell my kids when we sit down to a wonderful meal I have worked hard over. I want to enjoy it and taste every bite purposefully. But sometimes they are so hungry, they shovel it in, missing the flavor of the secret ingredient.

God does not desire me to mindlessly devour the truths that He is teaching me, only to quickly become empty again. I must let them roll around in my mouth, let them take root in my mind and heart, before taking another bite.

Slow down. Listen. Absorb.

Truth will take its hold in my deepest soul this way, so that when I see my reflection in the mirror and then go away, the memory will still be crystal clear. I will remember - I am His.

Practically speaking, the "small bites" message has come to mean that when I read a verse of scripture or a small passage and it speaks to me, I stop. No more reading. I begin to meditate on and journal about what I find. I pray and talk to God about what He is showing me and how it applies to my life. I get still and listen to His voice. I continue to gnaw on that truth until I feel free to move forward.

For the last week I have been camped on two verses from James 1:19-20:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Not only has the Holy Spirit shown me lately that I could improve my communication with others (especially when my red-haired temper lights up!), but He has now given me to tools to improve it. I just need to learn to use them before moving on to something else. I am also very moved by knowing that God desires for us to live a righteous life. Does that affect you, too?

The crazy thing is - this is starting to work. And I am a stubborn and rebellious gal. Just today in a conversation with my husband, I was getting agitated. Suddenly, I heard the words of those verses echoing in my mind. It stopped me in my tracks, I calmed down and held my tongue (a miracle!).

If you, too, have struggled with experiencing spiritual growth, try taking smaller bites from the Bread of Life. It will fill you up better than ever, and keep you full longer! :)