Be the Moon

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16 NIV

I grew up singing "This Little Light of Mine" as a kid in church. Even today, my kids sing it heartily in chapel every week at school, waving their fingers like candle wicks:

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine - 

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. 

As inspiring as this song is, there has always been a part of me that felt some pressure about being the "light". How could I  possibly shed light? To be one that the world would see and think of God seems an overwhelming task. Besides, there are many days that my heart can feel rather dark. To be "light" when I feel "dark" seems downright impossible.

However, last night I read something that sort of put this whole "be a light" calling on its head. Louie Giglio, founder of the Passion movement, challenged his audience one night: "Be the moon!"

What? All this time I'd been trying to be the sun! Hmm...

The more I pondered this directive, the more it made perfect sense. After all, doesn't the moon get its light from the sun? Moonlight, the light that reaches Earth from the Moon, consists mostly of sunlight.

A full moon is about 500,000 times fainter than the sun. Similarly, we will never be the full expression of the glory of the One and Only. And yet, the moon is the brightest object in the sky after the sun!

If I am going to "be the moon" as Louie challenges, I have to get my light from the Son.

Louie confirmed that, saying,"You don't have any light on your own. We only reflect the light of Another."

Beautifully, Genesis 1:26-27 reveals this was God's design and intent from the very start:

Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”  God created human beings;  he created them godlike,  reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female.

                                                                          (The Message) 

"Reflecting our nature; reflecting God's nature." God never intended for us to let our own little lights shine - to be our own lights of the world. He meant for us to reflect THE Light, His Light! After all, we were created to be His image-bearers.

The more God reveals to me the ways in which I try to follow Jesus in my own strength, and in my own way, the more I see how I've made myself an idol in my own pursuit of God. What irony.  The more I strive and the less I surrender, the more I dampen that divine reflection. The more I distort it with Self and the fingerprints of the world.

Jesus gently reminds me of what He said in John 15:5: "You can do nothing apart from Me." Not even the divine reflection for which I am made.

It's true. A reflection requires a light source. 

The sun is a source of light. The moon is a reflection of that light. For me to "be the moon", I must reflect the Son's Light!

But, what does this look like, if not by self-effort?


I hear Louie again: "When you and I get in the right place, Christ shines in us." 

And I hear echoes of John 15:4 ... Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No image bearer can reflect by itself; it must remain in the light source. Neither can you reflect unless you remain in My Light.

I need to be aquatinted with and know God's character by way of a daily, intimate relationship with Him so that I am able and equipped, by His Spirit within me, to be His reflection.

In Christ, I get to be the moon, shining the soft glow of hope in the dark night of this present world. Our ability to shed the Light of Christ in this dark and broken world is an honor and a high calling. May our reflections point others to the True Source of Light.

I can already feel that strange burden of being a light lifting. I am not responsible for producing the light, only reflecting it! I was never meant to be the sun (or the Son). As I yield my will to Christ Jesus, I position myself in Christ's presence. There, I can absorb Him - His character, His love, His grace, His forgiveness - His Light.  

When we draw near to God, He draws near to us. And when He does, His Light covers us. Just like when the moon is in alignment with the sun, it reflects that brilliant light and illuminates our world.

Make us your own, your holy people, / light for the world to see. / Christ, be our light! Shine in our hearts. / Shine through the darkness. / Christ, be our light! / Shine in your church gathered today. // Christ Be Our Light // Bernadette Farrell

You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 MSG

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+ What can you do, practically speaking, to better position yourself to absorb the light of Christ in your life? What does this look like on a moment-to-moment, day-to-day basis?

+ We were made to reflect... And if not God, we will reflect something. Consider what you may be reflecting. Is there sin, judgment, unforgiveness, a twisted gospel, pride, brokenness being reflected? If so, start by realigning yourself with the Son through confession and repentance. Then soak up His grace-light. He will ready you to reflect a clearer image of Him.

+ Journal and imagine what the characteristics are of the Light. What is it like? How do you know it when you see, hear, feel or experience it?

+ Find at least one way each day to be a light to someone, sharing the love of Christ.

+ Think of a time when you noticed someone else being a light. What can you learn from them?

Small Bites

I am discovering just how much our culture has its claws in me. In our fast-food, over-sized portion, eat-on-the-way world, it is no wonder that I expect my spiritual growth to work in the same way. If I would only consume larger portions of Biblical and theological writings, if I could toss up more prayers throughout the day, and if I would serve more, then my heart would be right. The fruit of the Spirit would be conspicuous in me. Right?

Today God reminded me that is not the case in His economy. More (or faster) is not better in God's eyes: "Better is one handful of tranquility [less] than two handfuls of toil and chasing the wind [more]." Ecclesiastes 4:6.

Instead, God is teaching me to take small bites. Chew slowly. Taste the flavor.  Swallow. Digest. Just like I tell my kids when we sit down to a wonderful meal I have worked hard over. I want to enjoy it and taste every bite purposefully. But sometimes they are so hungry, they shovel it in, missing the flavor of the secret ingredient.

God does not desire me to mindlessly devour the truths that He is teaching me, only to quickly become empty again. I must let them roll around in my mouth, let them take root in my mind and heart, before taking another bite.

Slow down. Listen. Absorb.

Truth will take its hold in my deepest soul this way, so that when I see my reflection in the mirror and then go away, the memory will still be crystal clear. I will remember - I am His.

Practically speaking, the "small bites" message has come to mean that when I read a verse of scripture or a small passage and it speaks to me, I stop. No more reading. I begin to meditate on and journal about what I find. I pray and talk to God about what He is showing me and how it applies to my life. I get still and listen to His voice. I continue to gnaw on that truth until I feel free to move forward.

For the last week I have been camped on two verses from James 1:19-20:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Not only has the Holy Spirit shown me lately that I could improve my communication with others (especially when my red-haired temper lights up!), but He has now given me to tools to improve it. I just need to learn to use them before moving on to something else. I am also very moved by knowing that God desires for us to live a righteous life. Does that affect you, too?

The crazy thing is - this is starting to work. And I am a stubborn and rebellious gal. Just today in a conversation with my husband, I was getting agitated. Suddenly, I heard the words of those verses echoing in my mind. It stopped me in my tracks, I calmed down and held my tongue (a miracle!).

If you, too, have struggled with experiencing spiritual growth, try taking smaller bites from the Bread of Life. It will fill you up better than ever, and keep you full longer! :)

Her Name is Diane

Last Thursday I was in my church's reception area, asking about vacation Bible school forms and making small talk with the receptionist. Suddenly, the door swung open and a woman I will not soon forget struggled in through the door. She looked to be near fifty, with her short brown curls pushed out of her face with a plastic headband.  She had a leg brace on and an obviously swollen leg and foot. She walked slowly and painfully across the room and eased herself into a chair.  The receptionist asked if there was something she could help her with.  The lady, clearly exhausted from the short walk from the car to the chair, exhaled and said, "I don't know. But I hope so.  I'm having a real hard time lately, and with my leg hurt I can't work right now. I've been living in my car. I wondered if maybe you could help me out with some groceries or gas? Maybe a gift card?"  The receptionist explained she didn't have any gift cards to give away. The woman sat for another moment and then heaved herself up and said, "Well, thank you anyways", and began to make her way to the door.

It was as clear as day as I watched this exchange unfold.  God might as well have tapped me on the shoulder and said, "This one's for you."  I tossed a quick wave to the receptionist as I scooted out the door behind the lady.  "Ma'am!"  I called as I followed her down the walkway.  As she neared her car, she turned toward me.  She truly looked desperate and hopeless.  "Tell me what's going on,"  I asked her.

She started to reiterate some of what she had stated a moment ago in the office.  She told me about living in her car, and how a friend of hers, who worked at a nearby 7-11, let her take a shower recently. She nodded over her shoulder at a frozen dinner someone had given her, which she had sitting on her dashboard heating up in the sun. As I looked behind her at her beat up maroon Explorer, it was clear she truly was sleeping in her car. In the back seat were some pillows and blankets, and in the front seat were an assortment of books, bags and personal effects. The car was crammed with what appeared to be all of her possessions. My heart ached as I listened to her story. What would I do in her position? Hurt, alone, unable to provide for my most basic needs?  Where was God for this woman?  Did she even know about Him?

I'll tell you where God was for this woman. He was busy being Jehovah-Jireh, the God who provides.  He divinely placed me there in that office, at that particular moment in time. All I had to do was say yes to the opportunity He was placing before me.

As I looked over her shoulder in the parking lot, I could see the grocery store across the street behind her.  She had not asked for money, but gift cards.  That I could do. And I would go on faith that she would indeed use what I planned to give for noble purposes.  In other words, I was already praying that God would not allow her to go in and blow it all on cigarettes and booze. I wanted to believe this woman's needs were as authentic as they appeared. As if to allay my concerns over legitimacy, the Holy Spirit poured out a peace over me. I knew that this was for real.

I told her to follow me over to the store across the street and I would get her what she needed. She was in tears, overwhelmed with gratitude.  "Bless you!" she said, her voice choked with emotion.

As I got out of my car in the grocery store parking lot, I saw her struggling to get out of hers.  I went over and told her to just stay in the car, to not worry about trying to walk in. As I rushed into the store, a whirlwind was racing through my mind:  How much to spend? What else does she need? Oh man, my tae kwon do class starts in 2 minutes! I shook off the thoughts about being late (helping a homeless woman was a little more important than perfecting roundhouse kicks) and launched into some desperate praying: God, show me what she needs! Instantly, He put into my head "sandwich, water, pain medication".  He also gave me specific guidance on the gift cards and how much to purchase for each.  I added to the bag a devotional book I had in my car. I walked the bag of items over to her car and told her what all was there. She was truly grateful. I then asked her if she believed in God. She said she did, and she reached behind her and pulled out a very worn and well-loved paperback Bible. AWomen of Faith devotional Bible that was literally held together with the label from a Suave shampoo bottle. Then I asked if I could pray with her. She very much welcomed it, so I embraced this tender stranger to whom I feel eternally connected. As I prayed over her, asking the God who provides to meet her needs, to keep her safe, to make a way for her and bless her richly - I felt overcome with love for this woman I did not even know. God put a love in my heart for her in that moment that gave me a glimpse of how He loves her. We then went our separate ways, both in tears and overwhelmed by God's incredible love.

In His indescribable grace, He chose me that day to be love to this woman. He chose me to hug her as only He could. He chose me to give her something to eat, something to drink. To care for her. Who am I to accept such a privilege?

Yes, Lord, surely it is more blessed to give than receive. I opened my hands, and you, dear Lord, opened my heart.

I still think of her often...Her name is Diane.

What were they waiting for?

The day following Christ's crucifixion was divinely appointed to be a Sabbath day. In ancient Israel this meant a complete cessation of all work and most activities. This also meant that on this fateful Saturday morning, the women who had been following Jesus felt the tug of responsibility competing with their faithful observance of the Sabbath. What their hearts really yearned to do was do the last form of service they could for their Master-- prepare his broken body tenderly and carefully for burial. The night before, a rich man and follower of Jesus, Joseph of Arimathea, took Jesus' body to his own tomb for burial, where he was hastily anointed before sundown. But the body still required more formal burial preparations.

Imagine the frustration of wanting and needing to attend to something important, only to be forced to do absolutely nothing all day. What filled their hours that fateful Sabbath?

On top of that gnawing urge to "do" was an undercurrent of utter grief. The Lord they loved and served was dead. The One they called Messiah, the One they believed would save them, had died, just like any mere mortal. The miracles, the impassioned teachings... were they all for nothing now? All they had believed in seemed lost. How, now, would salvation come? 

What were they waiting for, now?

We today have the privilege of knowing how all of this turns out. But those ladies then did not know that the next morning their Lord would rise again and conquer death forever. I imagine, mingled with their grief, were doubts aplenty. Had Jesus really been the Messiah they all thought Him to be? If so, how could he have died?

What were they waiting for?

I wonder if some of us are in that same confusing grief-and-doubted-filled darkness that those women experienced that Sabbath. Life just doesn't make sense any more. We see no way out. Hope has been lost. Our hearts are completely broken. There simply is no light at the end of this tunnel. What, we wonder, is God doing?

And as we wait today for the Lord to rise tomorrow, what are we waiting for? What fills our hours as we pass this dark time? Will we hope beyond all hope that a miracle could still come?

When the coming of Jesus the Messiah was foretold, he was called Immanuel, "God with us". We should remember that he never stopped being "God with us", even in his death, and later (after his resurrection) when he ascended into heaven. For immediately upon his resurrection, he promised his disciples, and all who would follow, "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20). When the Holy Spirit fell on believers 40 days later at Pentecost, this sealed the promise. And it seals us who believe today.

For me, I wait for the triumphant stomp over death that will come in the morning. The stomp that caused an earthquake and rolled the stone back from the tomb. And what came forth? God with us! Amen!

The Curtain is Torn!

Today is Good Friday. The day in Christian history that opened up the new covenant to believers. But not as a gift is opened, with bows and celebration (although the new covenant is worthy of that). No, it started with a walk into death, with flesh ripped and blood shed. It ended with a curtain torn. A day of horror. Yet in these painful and gruesome reminders of what Christ endured today, we find the promise of hope as well.

The day of Christ's crucifixtion marked the end of the relentless sacrifices that the Laws given to Moses and the Israelites required. These sacrifices were supposed to redeem the people of their sins against God. But could the blood of a goat given year after year really cleanse a guilty heart? Hebrews 9:9 tells us "the gifts and sacrifices being offered were not able to clear the conscience of the worshiper." Indeed, the blood and ashes that were sprinkled on the ceremonially unclean only sanctified them so they were outwardly clean (Hebrews 9:13). So, if the blood of animals and purification rituals were not enough to cleanse us inwardly, we needed more. God, in His mercy, had more in mind for us that just appearing "clean". He wanted our hearts, and He wanted them devoted to Him alone. God's plan of redemption kicks into high gear here, and this is where the new covenant comes in.

Jesus, the unblemished sacrifice, gave himself, once, for all:

"...it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. Therefore when Christ came into the world he said, 'Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me...Then I said, "Here I am...I have come to do your will". Hebrews 10:4-7

"We have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body once for all." Hebrews 10:10

Why the big deal about sacrifice anyway? In God's economy, there is no forgiveness without the shedding of blood (Hebrews 9:22). Simple as that. So how much more will the blood of Christ be able to cleanse our consciences - Christ, who was empowered by the Holy Spirit and blameless before God!

The new covenant made intimacy with God possible for everyone. Previously this was unheard of. God was only able to be approached by His elect- His priests. In the temple, there were courtyards (one for men and one for women) where the people could congregate, present their offerings and sacrifices, hear the lessons from the preists and worship. This was as far as they could go. Beyond the courtyard was the Holy Place, where priests would burn incense and place the consecrated bread before God. Beyond that, separated by a thick, heavy curtain, was The Most Holy Place. The Most Holy Place housed the Ark of the Covenant, the golden chest which held the stone tablets given to Moses, among some other sacred items. The very presence of God hovered above the ark. This place was so sacred that the priests themselves only entered it once per year, and never without blood, which he offered for himself and the people. No one else was allowed into The Most Holy Place. Ever.

What does The Most Holy Place have to do with Christ on the cross and intimacy with God? Stay with me here while we tie this together. In three of the four gospels, we find a similar account. I like Matthew's version best as we can better picture the climactic moment of Jesus' death:

"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split." Matthew 27:50-51

Can you imagine the priests in the temple when they looked up after the shaking of the ground beneath their feet and noticed the curtain ripped in two, revealing The Most Holy Place for all eyes to see? I wonder if a holy fear came over them? Now, any old body could go in!

Exactly. Any old body could go in. Glory to God!

Hebrews reveals to us the amazing truth of what happened that Good Friday when the curtain was torn:

"Since we have confidence to enter The Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body....". (Hebrews 10:19-20)

Stop. Do you see it? Jesus not only made a way, through the sacrifice of his body, but He IS the Way. "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) It is through him, our High Preist, that we are able to pass through the curtain and come into the very presence of God the Father. Wow! And this, my friends, is the very essence of the new covenant -- that intimacy with God and forgiveness of our sins is an everlasting reality.

What is the promise of hope that the torn curtain of Jesus' body offered us? God tells us himself - he doesn't want us to miss it: He will make himself known to us, he will put his laws in our hearts, we will share intimacy with him, and he will forgive our sins and remember our sins no more. (Jeremiah 31:33-34; Hebrews 8:10-13) How's that to make a Friday 'good'?

Lord Jesus, how can we ever thank you for the price you paid to open a way for us to your Father? Your blood, which you offered up freely, paid the price of our sins, forever. Father God, we thank you for your love, which knows no bounds, and your faithful mercy. You are our Redeemer and King! May we live a life worthy of what we have received from You. Amen!

Broken and Sewn

Lately I have been entertaining this odd urge to learn to sew. And I mean really sew. Not just tacking on a stray button or mending the odd stitch. But truly creating something from nothing.  However, the thought of handling a motorized sewing machine scares me to death! I can just see my clumsy hands narrowly escaping that needle hammering away at the fabric!


So, that leaves me with sewing by hand. Here again is an obstacle. I am much too impatient to see a hand sewn project to completion. It would truly take a while! Which is why the smart person who invented the electric sewing machine made life so much easier (namely, Elias Howe in 1846). 


All of this sewing thinking randomly started to collide with some study work I was doing yesterday.  I was preparing a lesson which parallels Luke 4:18-19 and Isaiah 61:1-2.  In the Luke passage Jesus makes his teaching debut in the synagogue of his hometown of Nazareth. He is divinely handed the scroll of Isaiah, from which he reads:

¹⁸ “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind,  to set the oppressed free, ¹⁹ to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Jesus then sits down again, with all eyes fixed on him.  He proceeds to teach them about this passage, opening with this stunning revelation:  "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." (v. 21)  Can you imagine?  The Jews present that day were undoubtedly familiar with this passage from Isaiah and knew it to refer to their coming Messiah.  What could have been going through their minds as Jesus proclaimed to be the long-awaited One? 

In Jesus the One and Only Beth Moore refers to the Luke and Isaiah passages collectively as Jesus' job description.  These two excerpts from God's Word tell us exactly what Jesus was (and is) to accomplish. As I was studying all of this, I came to rest on one aspect of Jesus' mission in particular: To heal the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1 NKJV). Beth references Exodus 15:26 where God introduces himself by a new title:  I am the Lord who heals you," also known as Jehovah Raphah.  The word raphah means to "mend (by stitching), repair thoroughly, make whole".  Also, most modern translations phrase this part of the verse as "to bind up the brokenhearted."  To me, this translation matches even more closely to the original meaning of raphah.


If you have ever had the privilege of sharing life stories or hearing testimonies from others in a group, you will quickly see two things:  (1) We all have a story to tell, and (2) We are all broken! 


Life can break our hearts in so many different ways. But the result is still the same - we are shattered, imperfect, sapped of strength and powerless. We have no way of pulling all these pieces back together ourselves and functioning as we once did.


I began to visualize taking all our broken pieces and laying them at the foot of the cross. Then the Lord collects them, gently holding each of our broken selves in the palm of his hand. He tenderly, patiently goes about the painstaking work of binding us up, mending us thoroughly and making us whole again. All of this, in the palms of the hands pierced for us.  "You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand on me" (Psalm 139:5). Amazing....


What kinds of things are implied in mending a broken heart by stitching?  You may think of the pain of the needle going in, out, in again, out again.  A slow and painful process.  Healing takes time. And often healing leaves a scar.  Scars remind our of where we've been, what we've endured.  They also remind us to give thanks for the One who heals us! Binding us up ultimately ends in wholeness. In our wholeness, we remember:  "In Christ, all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17).


My heart, which is still being mended and has some scars, is bursting with thanksgiving for Jesus and the work He came to accomplish in each of us. He redeems our brokenness and makes us new! 


While I wish I knew how to sew, I am thankful that my Savior does.  And the fact that it is slow and tedious doesn't bother Him one bit.  He knows how beautiful it will come out in the end!


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Application:


+ Read Luke 4:18-19 and Isaiah 61:1-2.  Compare the two passages and make a list of the descriptive phrases from both passages, noting any variations.  Keep this list in your Bible to refer to whenever you need a reminder of what Jesus came to do.


+ Are you dealing with brokenness in your life? Stop trying to put it back together for yourself. Get on your knees and lay it all at the foot of the cross, asking Jesus to bind up your broken places, just as He came to do. Then praise Him for all that He will do in you and through you!


The Word:


+ He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.  Psalm 107:20


+ The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds al those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.  Psalm 145:13-14

Overcome by Light

Recently my husband told me about an article he read about the biggest advancements in medical history over the last, say, century. One scientist being interviewed was asked what he thought the single most important advancement was in our overall health.  His answer?  Not immunizations. Not washing hands.
Windows.  Yes, windows.  Why?  Because light was able to kill off the germs that would otherwise continue to linger (and infect others) in the dark.

Isn't sin kind of like that?  We like to keep our secret pasts all tucked away in a dark corner, way up on a shelf.  And we think because we can't see it, it just kind of disappears.  But, lo and behold, one day it hops down from that dark shelf and reinfects your life. We feel the effects of this sin eating into every part of our life, just like a disease, wearing us down. It even makes us afraid. Hopeless.  Will this thing be the end of me? How will I ever get over this?

Glory to God, we live in a time where the Light of the World has come.  We need not live in this darkness anymore.  There is freedom in the Light! "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all...If we walk in the  light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." (1 John 1:5,7).  


Do you see it?  When we drag out our sins from those dark secret places, and expose them to the purifying Light of Christ, not only do we strip the sin of its power over us, but we are given a gift of freedom:  "They overcame [the accuser] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." (Revelation 12:11)  Speaking our life stories, or testimonies, at appropriate times and in an appropriate manner, is just like opening the windows, letting the sunshine in, and killing off all the germs.

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So, today, being a regular ol' Tuesday, I did not expect a soul upheaval by mid-day...But that's what I got at about 9:30 this morning.

Our school has a new component to its volunteer program which involves screening its members.  We were fingerprinted and then rounded up to watch a video series called "Safeguarding God's Children".  I had heard that it was about being on the look-out for child predators.  This is certainly a good thing to watch out for and keep our kids safe.  However, I was not prepared to have the scab ripped off my past hurts, with them rippling wildly just below the surface.

As I am watching this video with real child molesters telling how they did it, I felt my heart racing, my hands shaking.  One young lady shared her story of having been abused by her minister as girl. She remarked how people always think you'll "just get over it". But you don't. That it changes who you are.  I knew in that moment exactly what she meant. And I also knew keenly that perhaps this past of mine might never "go away". Grieving the innocence stripped from me at the tender age of 5 will probably never cease.

One of the statistics that surprised me was that of all abusers, over 60% are known by the child and family. So these people sexually abusing children aren't the "stranger-boogey man" we often imagine hurting our little ones.  Another surprising fact was that many times the perpetrators are not that much older than the victims.  Both of these facts are a reality in my case.  He was a family friend, a young teenager.

As I watched the video, it became clear to me that I, as a child, was not in the least equipped to handle or know how to respond to the abuse that I endured.  I did not know that it was wrong for him to touch me that way. That I should have (or could have) told someone. That it was not my fault.

My heart began pumping harder as I felt clearly that God wanted me to share this part of my past so as to underscore to the other parents that we must never let our guards down. Even in what appears to be "safe" company and settings, we must be ever vigilant to help prevent this kind of abuse. We must open lines of age-appropriate communication with our children (both sexes) so they understand what is and is not appropriate touching and what to do if they are touched or feel uncomfortable.

I raised my hand and heard myself say, "I have something I'd like to share..."  God answered my prayer to fill my mouth with the words and help me to hold it together while I spoke. The others seemed to appreciate what I shared.

After the meeting was over, I went back to my car and as I closed the door, the flood gates opened. I was overwhelmed with a rush of grief for all of those who have endured sexual abuse and have had to live with the aftermath. However, God showed me so much more in those moments.  He reminded me that He is my Justifier - "The God of Recompense" (Jehovah-Gmolah).  No one harms the apple of His eye without consequence.  Revenge is not mine to take. He also showed me that He is my Healer, Jehovah-Rapha, and has set me free from so much of the bondage this abuse created. Is still setting me free. He reminded me that one day, one GLORIOUS DAY, He will finish binding up my heart.  He will put a crown of beauty on my head instead of ashes, and wrap me in a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. My wholeness will be for the display of His splendor.  There will be no more scabs, no more "yuck" mulling around under the surface.  He will make all new and right. This He will do FOREVER.

It is my prayer that the power of my testimony, however humble, will help others to overcome.  That when the dark shadows of sin are dragged out into the Light, they are disarmed and defeated.  The Light of Truth always triumphs when we speak out our testimony.


Application:
+ Do you have any "germs on shelves" that need to be brought into the Light?  Sometimes they have been there so long you may have forgotten about them. Pray for God to reveal anything hidden in your life that keeps you in bondage so that you may experience His freedom and healing.

+ Consider writing out your life story, capturing any pivotal moments that define who you are today. Pray that God will show you how you can use your story for His glory.

The Word:
+ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me," even darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  Psalm 139:11-12

+ Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story, those he redeemed from the hand of the foe.  Psalm 107:2